Mad and Confused!

I'm Mad.

I got that call today from the social worker. Just to let us know that we need to be less restrictive on what we are willing to do.

Excuse me? You want me to be less restrictive?

I already said that I don't expect a baby,
I already said that gender doesn't matter,
I already said that race is not an issue.

But I am still too picky?

HELLO! It's like we are standing with our arms open wide and no body is paying attention!

We decided that we have to protect our family so we are refusing to take emergency placements. These are children that have just been taken out of their homes. The only reason is because we have an 8 year old that we HAVE to protect. We don't know what issues these children have and we are not willing to risk bringing something into our home that will harm our one and only child. For this we are being too picky? I don't think so - for this we are being good parents! Just what the foster system says they need. Right?

Keep praying for us. We are feeling very defeated right now and just don't see any positive things happening for this adoption process. We are going to stick to our guns and not give in to pressures that will potentially harm our family. We feel like we are doing the right thing but we don't want to miss the chance for more children.

Silence

I have nothing to report about our adoption other than I have left three messages this week with our social worker and have yet to hear back from him. I am really trying not to be discouraged. Really. Trying. Hard. Some days you just want some news you know? Any sort of news. The silence is what I don't like.

Over the last few weeks I have been doing Beth Moore's "A Heart Like His" Bible study. In this I have learned that just because He calls us to do something doesn't mean He is going to make the path smooth. He may make a few bumps along the way. The silence is my bump.

During this time of silence some good news from my friend came. They have decided to adopt too! They are going to be adopting internationally and need a little help. I have posted a button to the right that will link you to their blog where you can read about how they came to the decision to adopt. You can also see some Christmas Card designs that she has created for you to purchase. Go check it out!

I am praying that my silence isn't going to last much longer. The holiday's are coming and I was really hoping that we would have a house full of children this year. I have to be a better listener!

halloween 2009

I know they are late but here are our pictures from this year!

I am not a big fan of the skeleton - however it isn't Spiderman so I caved.

The blood I could do without but apparently it is what makes this costume so cool.

Boys.

We had to take the mask off so we didn't scare our sweet little cousin Tinkerbell.....

who insisted on holding hands with Tyler all the way to our destination.

So cute!

We went around to our local church's that had different events - this one was a trunk or treat with different games.

They were trying to find a needle in a haystack - this took a while!

We had a great time going out trick or treating then we went back home and attempted to start a bonfire with wet wood. Wet wood don't burn. So instead we went inside and watched football - some college team was playing - can't remember who - something about orange?

Anyway - it was a great time with family!

Once in a lifetime....

We had a very rare treat at our Thunder practice this week.

Mike Smithson

He is a former major league baseball pitcher and he came to give the team some instruction on how to throw a ball correctly.

He played with the Rangers, Twins and Red Sox back in the 80's.

He is now the athletic director for one of our surrounding counties.

It. Was. Awesome.

He went over the basics - because sometimes you just need to go back to these every once in a while. He showed them the best way to hold the ball to make it go straight.

He watched as they played long toss.....

Then he did individual instruction for each player.

It's all about the mechanics.

Tyler has great mechanics - Mike said so.

Tyler's only problem is his release. He doesn't always release in the same spot so his balls are not always strikes.

What did Mike say about this?

"With mechanics like that why are you throwing strikes? Throw me a strike right now."

And he did. Not once, not twice but three in a row.

Hopefully we can carry that onto the field in our next game.

Now I think this was the moment that Charlie had been waiting for ever since he knew Mike was coming.....just to meet him.

He turned into that little boy all over again. The one holding the baseball card waiting for an autograph. It was funny to see Charlie so enamoured with a baseball player!

Had to get my actual 8 year old in a picture too!

Mike brought something with him that they may never get to hold again.....his world series ring that he won while playing for the Twins. It was huge! I am not sure Tyler even realized what he has on his finger right there - but it could probably pay for our house.

Then every little boys dream - an autographed baseball card!

A great practice with a great player....

Crown

Today marked a day in the history of dental bliss for Tyler.

He had to get his first crown.

To say he was obsessed about this day would be an understatement. Tyler likes to know everything. He doesn't like surprises, he isn't comfortable with the unknown and he really hates needles.

As much as I could explain to him about what was going to happen I did. He just wanted to fall asleep for the whole thing and he hoped the "silly juice" would do that for him. He tried - oh did he try to fall asleep.

In the waiting room.

When all of his attempts of yawning, laying down and closing his eyes didn't work he finally gave in to the aspect of being awake for the procedure. I explained again how he would not feel anything. The dentist had a special gel that he puts on your gums that makes it completely numb.

"I won't feel it even if I am awake?"

"No"

"Oooooooo - OK, I am going to go play video games now."

You could have heard my exhausted sigh a mile away.

One thing I hated most about today is the terrible mood this "silly juice" put him in. He was not MY Tyler at. all. The good thing - if he EVER tries any sort of illegal substance - I will know - his bad attitude will be evidence enough for me!

Glad it is over and now he has a shiny new silver cap to show for all of his pain and suffering.

Fall Baseball

Since the end of our summer tournaments, we as a team decided to play less competitive recreational baseball for the fall season. This decision was a hard one. After being so competitive and playing "real" baseball it was hard to go back to the mentality of "it's just for fun". Fall Recreational Baseball is to learn the fundamentals. Our head coach decided that we as a team needed to learn some of the fundamentals of the next level of baseball - kid pitch. None of our kids have ever pitched or been pitched to by another kid so we did have some learning to do. Still - being with kids that are just there to have fun is really hard for a mom like me who wants to WIN!

Tyler is getting lots of needed experience catching and dong a great job as usual.

This was him daring someone to steal home.

getting a wild pitch - that happens a lot.
Bunting is a fairly new thing for our kids too. We were allowed to bunt over the summer but never quite had the situation where we needed to. Now we can practice it during a live game because after all - we are just having fun right?Stealing home is so exciting. Both of them are looking to the ump for the call......SAFE!
Oh yes that is my boy!

Now the tough part - pitching. He has the basic steps down but in the heat of the game and when your team is down 8-0 and all of the pressure is on YOUR shoulders - not a good combo. He tried so hard but just kept pitching the ball high. He did strike one player out but that wasn't good enough for him. If he doesn't strike them all out in a row he feels like he did terribly. He holds a high standard for himself.

We ended up losing this game - no surprise there - but we are learning some basic fundamentals without the competitive pressures.

The call

We finally got the call we have been waiting for.....Home Study is approved! Only 5 months longer than we expected that to take but oh well. Not much you can do about it so why get upset. I have to say that I have been at peace through this entire process.

Whenever people ask me how it is going they always say "you must be so anxious"
But you know - I am not.
I am just at peace.
I know that God has a perfect plan for how this is all going to happen. He already knows the time and place that I will come to know my new children. He is preparing their hearts for us and our hearts for them. I pray for that every day. I just want them to know that we love them no matter what they have been through.

Now this isn't to say that I don't get excited about the possibility of having a little girl. One that I can buy dresses for and put ribbons in her hair. One that will just melt my heart when I look into her eyes. Or another boy full of life. One that loves to play hard and get dirty. One that will become a best brother for Tyler.
I get very excited for these things. But then I have to remember - it isn't up to me. I have no say in any of it. It has all been laid out for me and I am just walking the life that God planned. I sure wish I had listened to His call a lot sooner. Who knows how many kids we would have!

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us through this - keep it up - we are not done yet.